Healthy Boundaries

Do you have a boundaries issue?

I'm just starting my "marriage tips" page to help kickstart this page going so bear with me and go through tips.

Quick Thought: Marriages suffer when couples don't practice healthy boundaries with the opposite sex (especially in professional and social settings).

I'm not sure how everyone handles these issues but because I'm a minister and need to keep the trust of my wife and the people I counsel, I must be careful.  Here are some of my regular practices.

4 tips to help you practice healthy boundaries.

One: Guard your heart.  

The heart is a tricky thing.  It can quickly deceive you.  If you don't believe me go watch any Hollywood love story.  If you're tearing up at the end you've fallen into the trap of a "good story" and given a piece of your heart to a fictional charter.  The point: Be careful to not fall into an emotional trap.  It is very easy to become a victim of accidentally developing an unhealthy relationship with the opposite sex.

Two: Guard your soul/spirit.  

The soul is the spiritual part of you that helps influence your "will".  Similar to your body, your will is either strengthened or weakened based on how you care for it.  Make sure you nurture your soul by staying connected to your church, reading your bible and being plugged into a healthy spiritual community. Without these things in your life you can easily lose your moral direction.

Three: Guard your mind.

You will be bombarded with thoughts, images, ideas and temptations everyday. This will happen as you go to and from work and in your personal relationships. Temptation isn't your fault.  But entertaining temptation and giving yourself permission to do things against your spouse or behind their back.

Four: Live outside of the gray.

Practice being public. Don't make it a practice to spend time privately with the opposite sex. This can be especially difficult if your career intersects with members of the opposite sex.  The question you must ask yourself is "what do I need to do with my co-worker?"  Most of the time you can practice business without spending extra time in the car, at the gym or after work hours with your co-worker.  The greatest challenge here is how to deal with the personal relationship that has been developed and the best practice is to keep things professional and find your emotional and friendship connection with your spouse.

Feel free to leave a comment or qustion below.