Facebook Friends-The Talker

Have you met someone that talks too much… Don’t say me. 

Microphone-1.jpg

Well, chances are you have.  Some people can go on and on without ever listening to anyone or checking to see if anyone is paying attention.  The funny thing is that sometimes this person really cares whether or not people are paying attention and sometimes they don’t care at all.  Daniel P. Ellis, professor at Columbia University mentioned the reason being “Listening requires complex auditory processing.”  Unfortunately many of our “Facebook Friends” are “The Talker”.  Part of the problem that has exponentially impacted the world as people relate to one another is the “digital forum”.  The “digital forum” has profoundly changed the way in which people interact thereby rendering some communication forms less desirable.  I hear it all the time.  People would rather text than call.  This type of interaction has and is fueling a generation/generations of people who are not or will not be good listeners.  We have yet to fully experience the profundity of these effects on our culture.

Characteristics:  The implication is that people that are talking lots and listening little may have not fully developed the ability to process much communication outside of what they are able to communicate themselves.  The equivalent in the digital social networking age would be that of people who constantly post or write comments without listening to or processing feedback from others (i.e. writes lots of posts without interacting with others comments).  Sometimes this leads others to either hide, block or remove the individual’s comments on whatever network they’re a part of or stop interacting with the person entirely.

Advantages:

1. The individual feels empowered to say whatever they want

2. People are not likely or less likely to confront them

Disadvantages:

1. People may or will not engage this person via comments

2. People may hide, block or remove this person as a friend

Problems:

1. This person may struggle to develop deep relational connections with others

Solutions:

Stop… Listen…. Reflect…. Work on building relationships with others that are interdependent.  You don’t’ want to become someone who is co-dependent changing everything about yourself to suit the needs and desires of others.  You don’t want to be completely independent not yielding or learning to yield to anyone else in your life (this behavior drives others away).  Interdependence is learning how to dance the line between co-dependence and independence allowing a person to both be influenced by others without having impenetrable relational walls up.